ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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