You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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