Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
