you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
