what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Houston, we have a squirter
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
