if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize