i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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