So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
