She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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