So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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