so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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