you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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