Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
