porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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