Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
