I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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