I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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