Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
