So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
