after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
not ubering you a puppy
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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