Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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