weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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