That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize