after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
