If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
