let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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