when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
