I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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