Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The adults are the big ones right?
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