You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's shark week go big or go home
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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