After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Randomize
