I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
