Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I touched a dick in church today
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
