yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
