Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
