good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
