I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
