is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
