Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
