Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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