is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
worst night to have a conscience
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
