Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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