Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize