Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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