YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
