Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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