oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
