There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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