She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
