yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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