I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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