Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You've changed since you got that strap on
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