I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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