I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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