Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dick very happy bro
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
