THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
