k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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