I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
...so i touched it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You smell like stripper and shame
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
