he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
