I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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