My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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