u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
