Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
