I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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