Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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