I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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